I MADE IT THROUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Beginning this morning (not including the prayers going up for several days now) the Lord gave me a song by Morris Chapman – “I See the Lord”. The song says nothing about claustrophobia, nor wide open spaces, but it really reminded that God is seated on His throne. So, I prayed that the Lord would give me peace even before the test because at that point, everytime I thought of “The Tube” I began to panic! Truly, the peace came before I even went to the facility.
Then, Bill, Nathanael, and Emily prayed for me before we left. It was really neat – Bub prayed for God’s love to envelope me, and Emily prayed for the Lord to cast out all fear, bringing to remembrance that the Scripture tells us that “…perfect love casts out all fear…”
About an hour before we got there, I took the medication the Dr. gave me. I had taken the same thing Tuesday, but it didn’t seem to work at all. Unbeknownst to me, Gen had been praying that the med would work this time. And it really did – Bill had to help me into the office!
This machine was way more open than the previous one – there were no sides at all. The “ceiling” of it was still inches above my nose, but I could turn my eyes and see all around me. Bill stayed right there, held my hand, and hummed my song when there was a break in the test. There were a couple of very small panicky moments, but I just glanced at Bill and began singing (in my mind, of course), and the peace returned.
Thank you all for your prayers. The Lord just really gave me peace throughout the entire test – as long as I kept my heart stayed on Him!!
I’ll let you know the results when I know them.
PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Okay, I am a girl (woman) who has very few fears. As a matter of fact, I have never been a fearful person although I have been through several traumatic events in my lifetime. So what’s up with this?????
Last year I was in an automobile accident – most who read my posts already know the details. Well, we are trying to get all our ducks in a row so we can get insurance payment. So I went to my Dr. for a final exam and he ordered an MRI on my neck. He is not satisfied because I still have pain and stiffness after all this time.
Now, I’m a trusting soul. I went to the MRI place and filled out all the paperwork. I went by myself, because there were no drugs or contrast involved. A very nice tech took me into the testing room after I’d removed all metal, including my glasses, and told me what to expect. He asked if I were claustrophobic. I said, “I don’t think so. I wouldn’t want to be locked in a dark closet for very long, but I’ve never been claustrophobic.” He gave me earplugs because of the noise. He had me lay on the table with my neck in between two “bookends”, put two pads between my head and the “bookends”, then snapped a metal rack (kinda like a catcher’s mask) over my face. My heart began racing, but I thought it was just that feeling of settling down after the rush. He slid me into the machine, and I panicked. It was such a weird feeling! So he slid me out, gave me a minute to collect myself, and slid me back in, telling me that closing my eyes helps alot.
That time I made it for the 1 minute round and almost all of the 2 1/2 minute round. I was thinking about everything I could – my grandbaby’s smile, Pam and Will, Dannye’s dry humor, my precious husband… – but the panicky feeling kept surging up within me. I began praying for strength, singing “My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus’ blood and righteousness…” (in my mind, of course; I was not allowed to move my mouth). But I just could not stay in that tube one more second! I was crying, but trying to keep myself from hysterics. He assured me that it happens all the time, not to worry. I did (and do) worry – I’ve wasted their time, I’ve caused others to be put out now that I have to go back, I’ve cost us money for the sedative I have to take, and many other “vain imaginations” that fly through my brain! BTW, I haven’t mentioned yet that I’ve now been back a second time and the sedative didn’t work. I didn’t even make it through the test round. The mask thing is the most frightening thing to me! Is that crazy, or what?
Tomorrow they are sending me to another location that has an “open MRI” machine. I have one more vallium to take and if I can’t make it, I don’t know what we’ll do. If I even think about getting into that tube my heart feels like it will explode!
I’ve never really experienced that kind of fear. It’s not the same as walking through a dark forest, or having someone sneak up on you and shout, “Boo!” It’s such a strong feeling, and I hate it!
I am asking the Lord to teach me how to deal with this. I realize I won’t have to go into a narrow tube very often, but I believe I need to get a grip, anyway! When the ambulance tech strapped me down to the body board and left me for 3 hours with my head and arms taped down, I felt a similar panic, but kept quoting scripture and then finally broke the tape and moved my arms and legs around. That helped alot. But during this MRI, I can’t move my mouth (I do that even when talking silently!) so I don’t know what to do.
Will you all pray for me tomorrow? The test is 25 minutes long, and begins about 1:30. Pray that I will calm down between now and then, and that my imagination won’t continue to run away with me!
“(For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;) Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;” 2 Corinthians 10:4-5
Thank you all. And have a blessed day!