Claustrophobia???

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 I MADE IT THROUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Beginning this morning (not including the prayers going up for several days now) the Lord gave me a song by Morris Chapman – “I See the Lord”.  The song says nothing about claustrophobia, nor wide open spaces, but it really reminded that God is seated on His throne.  So, I prayed that the Lord would give me peace even before the test because at that point, everytime I thought of “The Tube” I began to panic!  Truly, the peace came before I even went to the facility.

Then, Bill, Nathanael, and Emily prayed for me before we left.  It was really neat – Bub prayed for God’s love to envelope me, and Emily prayed for the Lord to cast out all fear, bringing to remembrance that the Scripture tells us that “…perfect love casts out all fear…”

About an hour before we got there, I took the medication the Dr. gave me.  I had taken the same thing Tuesday, but it didn’t seem to work at all.  Unbeknownst to me, Gen had been praying that the med would work this time.  And it really did – Bill had to help me into the office!

This machine was way more open than the previous one – there were no sides at all.  The “ceiling” of it was still inches above my nose, but I could turn my eyes and see all around me.  Bill stayed right there, held my hand, and hummed my song when there was a break in the test.  There were a couple of very small panicky moments, but I just glanced at Bill and began singing (in my mind, of course), and the peace returned.

Thank you all for your prayers.  The Lord just really gave me peace throughout the entire test – as long as I kept my heart stayed on Him!!

I’ll let you know the results when I know them.

PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Okay, I am a girl (woman) who has very few fears. As a matter of fact, I have never been a fearful person although I have been through several traumatic events in my lifetime.  So what’s up with this?????

Last year I was in an automobile accident – most who read my posts already know the details.  Well, we are trying to get all our ducks in a row so we can get insurance payment.  So I went to my Dr. for a final exam and he ordered an MRI on my neck.  He is not satisfied because I still have pain and stiffness after all this time.

Now, I’m a trusting soul.  I went to the MRI place and filled out all the paperwork.  I went by myself, because there were no drugs or contrast involved.  A very nice tech took me into the testing room after I’d removed all metal, including my glasses, and told me what to expect.  He asked if I were claustrophobic.  I said, “I don’t think so.  I wouldn’t want to be locked in a dark closet for very long, but I’ve never been claustrophobic.”  He gave me earplugs because of the noise.  He had me lay on the table with my neck in between two “bookends”, put two pads between my head and the “bookends”, then snapped a metal rack (kinda like a catcher’s mask) over my face.  My heart began racing, but I thought it was just that feeling of settling down after the rush.  He slid me into the machine, and I panicked.  It was such a weird feeling!  So he slid me out, gave me a minute to collect myself, and slid me back in, telling me that closing my eyes helps alot. 

That time I made it for the 1 minute round and almost all of the 2 1/2 minute round.  I was thinking about everything I could – my grandbaby’s smile, Pam and Will, Dannye’s dry humor, my precious husband… – but the panicky feeling kept surging up within me.  I began praying for strength, singing “My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus’ blood and righteousness…” (in my mind, of course; I was not allowed to move my mouth).  But I just could not stay in that tube one more second!  I was crying, but trying to keep myself from hysterics.  He assured me that it happens all the time, not to worry.  I did (and do) worry – I’ve wasted their time, I’ve caused others to be put out now that I have to go back, I’ve cost us money for the sedative I have to take, and many other “vain imaginations” that fly through my brain!  BTW, I haven’t mentioned yet that I’ve now been back a second time and the sedative didn’t work.  I didn’t even make it through the test round.  The mask thing is the most frightening thing to me!  Is that crazy, or what?

Tomorrow they are sending me to another location that has an “open MRI” machine.  I have one more vallium to take and if I can’t make it, I don’t know what we’ll do.  If I even think about getting into that tube my heart feels like it will explode! 

I’ve never really experienced that kind of fear.  It’s not the same as walking through a dark forest, or having someone sneak up on you and shout, “Boo!”  It’s such a strong feeling, and I hate it!

I am asking the Lord to teach me how to deal with this.  I realize I won’t have to go into a narrow tube very often, but I believe I need to get a grip, anyway!  When the ambulance tech strapped me down to the body board and left me for 3 hours with my head and arms taped down, I felt a similar panic, but kept quoting scripture and then finally broke the tape and moved my arms and legs around.  That helped alot.  But during this MRI, I can’t move my mouth (I do that even when talking silently!) so I don’t know what to do.

Will you all pray for me tomorrow?  The test is 25 minutes long, and begins about 1:30.  Pray that I will calm down between now and then, and that my imagination won’t continue to run away with me! 

“(For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;) Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;”   2 Corinthians 10:4-5

Thank you all.  And have a blessed day!

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About pettybunch

I am loved with God's everlasting love, and underneath are His everlasting arms - and I haven't gotten over it yet! I am also blessed to be married for over 36 years to the man of my dreams, and have 3 incredible adult children, an amazing son-in-law, a wonderful daughter-in-law, and SEVEN grandchildren: four precious granddaughters, three handsome grandsons - so far. I am a retired Home Educator, and loved every moment of it! We are empty nesters, and are endeavoring to embrace this new phase of life. God is so good!
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15 Responses to Claustrophobia???

  1. RahChild says:

    i’ll definitely be praying for you. things like that are so hard to deal with! especially if you’re sitting there going “why do I feel this way again??”maybe this would be a good time to take a nap? just a thought. hope all goes well!

  2. I am extremely claustrophobic, so I feel your pain. I actually have nightmares about MRI’s, etc, they are that scary to me. I will definitely pray for you with understanding of how frightening it is.

  3. auntkarl says:

    I wish they would have put you to sleep and they would be done with it… And A comment on your your post on Em’s site  I visit your site almost every day to see if you have posted…I’m the one that hardly noone visits.. So there

  4. Anonymous says:

    Oh, Nina, I’m so sorry for how you feel!  I know exactly what you’re going thru.  I CANNOT have anything over my face or blocking my “space” around my face.  Ask Bettye how Bob has always tormented me after surgeries w/my claustrophobia!!  Do you think this is genetic?, ha!!  I’ve had an MRI but thank goodness it was for my back so my head was kinda sticking out so I could still “breathe”.  Does that make sense??  I’ll say some major prayers that you can get thru this.  Would music/head phones help or can you have those?  Hey, they have some wonderful “QUICK ACTING/NO MEMORY” drugs that they gave me when I had my eyes done this January.  One minute you’re awake & the next minute you’re awake again w/NO memory of the in between.  I can’t remember the name of it but Angie knew what I was talking about.  They give to “sissy patients”, she said, ha!!  Just a thought if you want to have me find out about it.  I love you………good luck……..& let us hear how you do!  Dodie

  5. Anonymous says:

    You can do this! I know you can, especially in the open kind.  Did they have earphones?  The place I use in The Woodlands gives you earphones and asks if you have a favorite radio station.  I listened to Classic Country during my last two MRI’s.  I have never liked being locked in.  I’ve been trapped in two different bathrooms and had some pretty major fits but MRI’s have never bothered me.  I literally take myself to another place as soon as I go inside them.  I close my eyes and listen to the music and just let go.  I never open my eyes until I am coming out again. Now, you think how I FILL UP an MRI machine.  They almost have to squeeze me in.  So if your big sister can do it, you can do it.  God gives us nothing we can not endure.  Just keep remembering that.  This is all for the good. God loves you so much.  He wants you to just relaz and put yourelf in his hands.
    I will be praying for you, sister!
    B

  6. cnsavanna says:

    oh Mrs. Petty!  That’s awful; I will definitely pray for you!!!  Wow, I cannot imagine.  God bless!

  7. Anonymous says:

    Motts and I have talked since and discovered we were posting our comments at the same time.  ha  Therefore, the two questions about headphones.  I wish I understood the need for the mask.  I have had MRI’s on my shoulder and on my neck.  Neither time did I have to wear a mask.  I have had the “bookends” to keep my head steady but that’s all.  Sounds a liittle bit like Hannibal Lector to me. ha  Once again, YOU CAN DO THIS!

  8. chix0rgirl says:

    Aww, was already praying for you as I was reading… That’s awful. I can relate to a certain degree – I have this fear of falling that developed between a huge earthquake in ’99 and a near-plane-crash in ’98. Praying for peace for you. 🙂

  9. cnsavanna says:

    YAY!  I’m so glad; what an amazing thing prayer is!  God is good and faithful.

  10. Anonymous says:

    Praise God and kiss Bill!  What a guy!  I was crying and laughing by the time I finished reading your update.  I always knew Jeanne’s prayers were powerful!  I can just see Bill helping you, his staggering wife, into the office.   Too funny.  I am so very happy for you.  Now let me know the results ASAP.
    Love you so much,   B

  11. Yay, yay, yay, YAY!!
    i’m so happy for you. 🙂

  12. AuntGen says:

    Isn’t our Lord wonderful?  Isn’t He full of grace? 

  13. RahChild says:

    woot! i’m so happy for you!

  14. DubyaDC says:

    I did notice him taking some pics of me.  Is it the one when I was going to serve, when I was sitting over with you, or another one?  I want to see them!

  15. ALDOG1 says:

    Nina she is so beautiful, I have got to see her in person. The cabin looks great.
    Love, Tab

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