I have been a mother for almost 25 years now (if you only count the time my children were outside the womb!) and I am still learning about this wonderful, amazing, difficult thing called motherhood. After losing our first baby in the beginning of the second trimester of pregnancy, I wanted that next baby so badly that I became obsessed! Thankfully, within the next year, God gave us Nathanael, a loveable, easy going, almost angelic child. I have never been loved by a human being as I am loved by this firstborn son. Even my husband, who loves me better than I could have imagined, does not quite have the same type of love for me that Nathanael does.

Soon after  Nathanael (13 months to be exact), God sent Dannye Reigh into our lives: such a small baby girl with so many early problems. But oh the joy of having a daughter – I was beside myself! Not long after Dan joined us, God surprised us with Pamela Kaye. And what a surprise she was – almost nine pounds, and used every ounce of energy she could muster to cry! A lot. For a LONG time!

And so began my course in Motherhood. How I loved being a mother – I loved everything about it! The diapers, illnesses, crying, discipline, even the long nights without sleep were welcome to me because along with the difficult came the delights of raising children. Caring for them, nurturing them, teaching and training them, playing with them, watching them grow and learn – oh my goodness, this list goes on and on! Best of all, though, was experiencing their love for me. It absolutely knows no bounds!

I believe it is this love, a child’s love for his mother, which develops in mothers what I call “A Mother’s Heart.” Mothers feel deeply for their children – I know that sounds silly: of course mothers feel deeply for their children! But I’m talking about a different sort of feeling than any other person has for your children; an understanding, knowledge, and empathy that no one else has or perhaps even comprehends.

This sympathy a mother has for her children can bring the greatest joy or the greatest pain a woman has ever known. Through the years of motherhood I have experienced both the joys and the pain. And it seems to me that as my children grow older, the feelings have grown deeper! When they were small, I felt the joys and pains they felt, but most of their highs and lows were rather surface – winning or losing a ball game; winning or losing at the County Fair; a few fusses with a best friend. While we had a couple of devastating losses during their childhoods, the losses mostly affected the grownups rather than the children.

I began to realize the depth of this “Mother’s Heart” during their teen years. Many of the crises teens experience seem insignificant to most adults. When a young lady is becoming aware of her appearance and thinks “I’m fat!” most adults look at her and wonder what on earth she’s seeing in the mirror! When a young man fails to achieve something he has longed for all his life, many adults never saw the value of it in the first place, much less feel his pain at losing his chance.

A “Mother’s Heart” feels her child’s pain – not the level that seems justified by the magnitude (or insignificance) of the event in her own eyes, but the pain that the child him/herself is feeling.

One of our children is currently experiencing some adjustments in life that may appear to others as minor, but to this child are huge! I’ve seen my other children adjust to what I call “death of a dream”, and let me just say here that this is one of the hardest things I deal with as a mother! Disappointment is such an intense emotion! Rarely is there blatant sin involved; more often deep sadness and a refusal to accept the circumstances are the culprits that steal our joy and prevent a solution. And at first, any attempt to deal with the situation causes that child to believe that you couldn’t possibly understand the pain he/she is in!

I have learned throughout these 25 years of motherhood that sometimes the best “medicine” I can offer my children is simply deep, intuitive sympathy. Solutions can be discussed later, when time has worked its magic and has dimmed the shock and pain. So today I cry with my little one, looking forward to the hope of tomorrow that God always brings.

Ecclesiastes 3

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;

A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

He hath made every thing beautiful in his time…

 

May God bless your day!

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About pettybunch

I am loved with God's everlasting love, and underneath are His everlasting arms - and I haven't gotten over it yet! I am also blessed to be married for over 36 years to the man of my dreams, and have 3 incredible adult children, an amazing son-in-law, a wonderful daughter-in-law, and SEVEN grandchildren: four precious granddaughters, three handsome grandsons - so far. I am a retired Home Educator, and loved every moment of it! We are empty nesters, and are endeavoring to embrace this new phase of life. God is so good!
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9 Responses to

  1. I loved this post!  I can relate!  God bless.

  2. Aunt Nina, I always enjoy your posts. I can’t wait ’til a can relate!
    Love,
    Amy

  3. ALDOG1 says:

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  4. ALDOG1 says:

    AS YOU CAN SEE, MY HTML COD DID NOT WORK!  HA

  5. MegletTX says:

    How true this is Mrs. Petty.  One of the dearest memories I have is a morning when for some reason I was just having one of those days and burst into tears and fled to my room.  My daddy came in and held me while I cried.  He didn’t try to tell me how to fix my problem or how I could have avoided it.  He just held me and let me cry.  And of course as soon as I had my cry out I was okay!  Sometimes you just need someone to hold you while you cry, let you get it out of your system and THEN you can pick yourself up and go on.  So whichever child it is if they are near enough just grab them in a big ol’ hug and let them cry!!! 

  6. My mom has always been that way for us—and now, as a young mom myself, I’m starting to learn what it feels like too! Argh. How I wish sometimes that those situations and disappointments were just eraseable. 🙂

  7. suezzzque says:

    Perhaps you might want to join my blogring Surviving Your Parents Second Childhood.

  8. AuntGen says:

    It is truly a helpless feeling when our children hurt and we are not in a position to change their circumstances or erase the source of their pain.  I am so glad that your children have you and their Lord to lean on, like “the deciple that Jesus loved.”  The fact that Jesus loves and understands them and that He is never powerless to help is all that they need to know.  You have taught all three of them this so well over the years, both by chapter and verse and through your example of complete trust and dependence on Him in all of life’s trials.  It may be a hard lesson to endure, but you all will come through it stronger and shinier for the perseverence.  dtms?  Gen

  9. auntkarl says:

    Ok I’m out of the loop as always , What’s going on.. You can fill me in on Sunday….

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