I decided to get my eyes off myself for a moment so I can update my blog without a “woe is me” theme! Honestly, what happened to my sunny disposition?!
We have had many, many good days around here. I’m referring to Mama’s afternoon/evening episodes, which are down to just about nil. Occasionally, she will ask when we are going home, but accepts readily that her brain is playing tricks on her and she is at her home of 25+ years. I am so thankful for this. The agitated episodes were terrible, especially because she thinks Daddy has moved her to this “new” place without her input, and she can’t see that he is no longer capable of making decisions at all. We really think that a new pain med one of her doctors put her on was causing this agitation, because when we put her back on the old pain med she quit having the hard times. The new med was Tramadol, the old med is Darvoset. The doctor (not her PCP) told us that Tramadol was better for her mentally as well as easier on her kidneys, but her PCP did not have that opinion at all. Well, whatever the case is across the board, in our Mama at least Darvoset is the better option. She still has a lot of pain, which we hate, but the Tramadol didn’t help the pain much more, if any, than the Darvoset, and she is MUCH calmer on the Darvoset.
Daddy is still having tremendous pain in his sciatic nerve. The doctor said bursitis, and gave him a shot in the area (not an epidural, B; just a cortisone shot), but it didn’t help at all. I don’t know what the next move is, but we need to try something.
Last weekend was a nice, leisurely one. Saturday was my first full day out of bed since I’d been sick, so I wasn’t running any races! I slept in that morning, then cooked breakfast for Daddy, Bill and myself. Mama doesn’t care for breakfast when she first wakes up, so she had something later. Bill stayed with the folks while I did some grocery shopping Saturday afternoon – again, a dreaded day to shop, but it couldn’t be helped. Bill and Mama watched Hogan’s Heroes. Mama really enjoys Shultz. He makes her laugh! When I got home, Dannye and the boys, Allen and Adam, came for a visit. It was really nice! They are growing up so quickly! I wish there was more opportunities to be with them, but I try to enjoy what time I do have!
Sunday, we went to church as a family, Allen and Adam making our family number even bigger! It was wonderful! I only wish I had been on time for Sunday School. I heard it was a great lesson! Joe preached the morning service, which was such a blessing. I love both our pastors’ preaching, but have missed Joe, as he normally preaches in the afternoon service and Bill and I have to leave before that time. Last Sunday was special in that it was Joe’s 2nd anniversary on staff at our church, and it was Pastor Hovey’s birthday. We are truly blessed as a congregation, to have two such godly men leading our church.
Bill and I took Al and Adam home after lunch, then headed home ourselves. I was so tired! I think we were all in bed by nine! This week I have slowly been getting back to normal, although I’m not sure I’ve made it even yet. I’ve been a little depressed, but that mostly comes from being ill. I am also trying to figure out how to fight boredom. I know I don’t have to sit in the room with Mama and Daddy all the time, but I feel terrible leaving them in there to be bored, just so I can do something fun or interesting. I also can’t go very far from them, in case they need me, so that limits my “fun and interesting” activities. TV gets old very fast, and I guess I’m just not creative enough to think of other things to do! My computer is in “my house”, and there isn’t really a place for it at Mama’s. I don’t know of much else to do. I love to read, but the poor lighting and their often interruptions make it hard to keep up with a story line. Any suggestions would be welcome!
Another emotional uprising I’ve been dealing with during my down time is what I’ve termed before as my “Mama’s Heart”. Pam and Will have recently had to deal with some very harrowing issues with their finances – totally none of their doing!! Emily had someone jump down her throat for an insignificant issue, humiliating her in the process. And Dannye has been dealing with issues that many people never have to deal with in their whole lives, causing feelings of rejection and loneliness. (Dan is handling all these things with grace through her amazing relationship with the Lord Jesus.) All of these things caused my Mama Bear claws to come out!! And none of these issues were within my power to help! Wow, you talk about feeling helpless! Especially for an old, experienced Enabler like me!!
I am learning some things, though. I am learning that when I keep my eyes on myself and my issues, they grow to unbelieveable proportions! Yet, when I turn my eyes to Jesus, and to others who have needs – many much greater than my own – my issues shrink to almost nonexistent! I am also learning that some things I find as faults in others exist in my own life. So last night, after wrestling in my mind over one of the above situations, I finally relented to the strong arm of the Lord and confessed my sins of wanting to be in control, worry, and especially anger, and opened up my heart to the reproof, comfort and healing of the Lord. Occasionally, thoughts creep back into my heart, but I “just say no” and turn back to Him. Today was a MUCH better day!
I don’t know that you all wanted to hear about all this. I highly doubt it, since my comment level goes down dramatically when I write like this. But that’s okay – I needed to write it much more than you needed to read it!!
Before I go, I want to show another couple of photos of my precious grandbaby. Emily’s sister Abigail took these photos, and since many of my friends don’t know Abbie, I thought I’d show them here. Abbie is becoming quite the photographer, and we are enjoying the fruits of her labor!
Such a little dolly!!
Don’t those eyes simply make you melt!!??!! They sure do me!
I pray you all have a blessed weekend. I’m planning to!
God bless your day!