A Break from the Pity Party


I decided to get my eyes off myself for a moment so I can update my blog without a “woe is me” theme!  Honestly, what happened to my sunny disposition?!

We have had many, many good days around here.  I’m referring to Mama’s afternoon/evening episodes, which are down to just about nil.  Occasionally, she will ask when we are going home, but accepts readily that her brain is playing tricks on her and she is at her home of 25+ years.  I am so thankful for this.  The agitated episodes were terrible, especially because she thinks Daddy has moved her to this “new” place without her input, and she can’t see that he is no longer capable of making decisions at all.  We really think that a new pain med one of her doctors put her on was causing this agitation, because when we put her back on the old pain med she quit having the hard times.  The new med was Tramadol, the old med is Darvoset.  The doctor (not her PCP) told us that Tramadol was better for her mentally as well as easier on her kidneys, but her PCP did not have that opinion at all.  Well, whatever the case is across the board, in our Mama at least Darvoset is the better option.  She still has a lot of pain, which we hate, but the Tramadol didn’t help the pain much more, if any, than the Darvoset, and she is MUCH calmer on the Darvoset.

Daddy is still having tremendous pain in his sciatic nerve.  The doctor said bursitis, and gave him a shot in the area (not an epidural, B; just a cortisone shot), but it didn’t help at all.  I don’t know what the next move is, but we need to try something.

Last weekend was a nice, leisurely one.  Saturday was my first full day out of bed since I’d been sick, so I wasn’t running any races!  I slept in that morning, then cooked breakfast for Daddy, Bill and myself.  Mama doesn’t care for breakfast when she first wakes up, so she had something later.  Bill stayed with the folks while I did some grocery shopping Saturday afternoon – again, a dreaded day to shop, but it couldn’t be helped.  Bill and Mama watched Hogan’s Heroes.  Mama really enjoys Shultz.  He makes her laugh!  When I got home, Dannye and the boys, Allen and Adam, came for a visit.  It was really nice!  They are growing up so quickly!  I wish there was more opportunities to be with them, but I try to enjoy what time I do have!

Sunday, we went to church as a family, Allen and Adam making our family number even bigger!  It was wonderful!  I only wish I had been on time for Sunday School.  I heard it was a great lesson!  Joe preached the morning service, which was such a blessing.  I love both our pastors’ preaching, but have missed Joe, as he normally preaches in the afternoon service and Bill and I have to leave before that time.  Last Sunday was special in that it was Joe’s 2nd anniversary on staff at our church, and it was Pastor Hovey’s birthday.  We are truly blessed as a congregation, to have two such godly men leading our church.

Bill and I took Al and Adam home after lunch, then headed home ourselves.  I was so tired!  I think we were all in bed by nine!  This week I have slowly been getting back to normal, although I’m not sure I’ve made it even yet.  I’ve been a little depressed, but that mostly comes from being ill.  I am also trying to figure out how to fight boredom.  I know I don’t have to sit in the room with Mama and Daddy all the time, but I feel terrible leaving them in there to be bored, just so I can do something fun or interesting.  I also can’t go very far from them, in case they need me, so that limits my “fun and interesting” activities.  TV gets old very fast, and I guess I’m just not creative enough to think of other things to do!  My computer is in “my house”, and there isn’t really a place for it at Mama’s.  I don’t know of much else to do.  I love to read, but the poor lighting and their often interruptions make it hard to keep up with a story line.  Any suggestions would be welcome!

Another emotional uprising I’ve been dealing with during my down time is what I’ve termed before as my “Mama’s Heart”.  Pam and Will have recently had to deal with some very harrowing issues with their finances – totally none of their doing!!  Emily had someone jump down her throat for an insignificant issue, humiliating her in the process.  And Dannye has been dealing with issues that many people never have to deal with in their whole lives, causing feelings of rejection and loneliness.  (Dan is handling all these things with grace through her amazing relationship with the Lord Jesus.)  All of these things caused my Mama Bear claws to come out!!  And none of these issues were within my power to help!  Wow, you talk about feeling helpless!  Especially for an old, experienced Enabler like me!! 

I am learning some things, though.  I am learning that when I keep my eyes on myself and my issues, they grow to unbelieveable proportions!  Yet, when I turn my eyes to Jesus, and to others who have needs – many much greater than my own – my issues shrink to almost nonexistent!  I am also learning that some things I find as faults in others exist in my own life.  So last night, after wrestling in my mind over one of the above situations, I finally relented to the strong arm of the Lord and confessed my sins of wanting to be in control, worry, and especially anger, and opened up my heart to the reproof, comfort and healing of the Lord.  Occasionally, thoughts creep back into my heart, but I “just say no” and turn back to Him.  Today was a MUCH better day!

I don’t know that you all wanted to hear about all this.  I highly doubt it, since my comment level goes down dramatically when I write like this.  But that’s okay – I needed to write it much more than you needed to read it!!

Before I go, I want to show another couple of photos of my precious grandbaby.  Emily’s sister Abigail took these photos, and since many of my friends don’t know Abbie, I thought I’d show them here.  Abbie is becoming quite the photographer, and we are enjoying the fruits of her labor!

A.J. 1

Such a little dolly!!

A.J. 2   

Don’t those eyes simply make you melt!!??!!  They sure do me!

I pray you all have a blessed weekend.  I’m planning to!

God bless your day!

 

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About pettybunch

I am loved with God's everlasting love, and underneath are His everlasting arms - and I haven't gotten over it yet! I am also blessed to be married for over 36 years to the man of my dreams, and have 3 incredible adult children, an amazing son-in-law, a wonderful daughter-in-law, and SEVEN grandchildren: four precious granddaughters, three handsome grandsons - so far. I am a retired Home Educator, and loved every moment of it! We are empty nesters, and are endeavoring to embrace this new phase of life. God is so good!
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13 Responses to A Break from the Pity Party

  1. Mommy2Drew says:

    Thank you for sharing from your heart! It’s cathartic!! AJ is simply beautiful!! I’m sure you are counting down the days until you see her! I imagine a load of Nonni kisses are coming her way!! 🙂

  2. Bettyeboop says:

    I love whatever you write.  I learn more from these posts than from the “fluffy” ones.  I get a real feel for what is going on at home and especially with your family and Dad and Chloe.  I envy your ability to express your feelings.  I sit here sometimes with my hands on the keys and eventually close the browser or go to a different website in frustration.  I am glad you got to see the boys.  I, too, wish it could have been longer.  I sure am looking forward to seeing them, all of them.Those pictures of Rue are beyond adorable.  She’s just the cutest little thing I ever saw.  Such an adorable little build.  And holding that little naked baby doll by the neck.  I love it!  And I love you, too, sweet sister.  You are too good, whether you realize it or not.  You have a right to be depressed, yes, and angry.  Accepting it and doing something about it are what is good!  And I understand, Mama Bear, how you feel, but do you realize what a blessing it is for your children to get through these things, learn from them and grow as a result.  It took me way too many years to learn that.

  3. Bettyeboop says:

    As you can see, I am a much more fluent commenter. ha ha ha

  4. pettybunch says:

    @Bettyeboop – Your comments are what drive me, B!  I love that part of Xanga.  I know FB has stuff like that, but everything I’ve seen is usually “fluff” – short little statuses (is that a word?) that don’t really say anything.  I get to hear your heart when you comment on something I say.Yes, I see God’s purpose in tying my hands, so to speak, where my kids problems are concerned.  It sure is hard, though!Love you bunches.

  5. love you—thanks for posting. 🙂 we’re praying for you guys and for M&G. see you very soon!!

  6. pettybunch says:

    @sunshinejoy717 – We are singing “In Christ Alone” at Dacus Church tomorrow morning.  The link is to Avalon’s version.  I thought you’d love it.  I wish you were here to sing with us – the song would then be even more amazing!

  7. ABAHM says:

    Aww,I loved your post.  But you already know that we can relate on so many levels. Try to think of something you always wanted to do, a craft or something that you could set up and work on.  There are things that I would like to do like paint or draw once I have the time.  I guess I can be glad for David’s homeschooling keeping me busy here at home.  I feel sorry for Grandpa too, he doesn’t know what to do with himself other than sleep or eat.  He cannot follow TV any more.  We will sometimes put on some tapes for him that have scenery and Bible verses and music.You Grandbaby is soooo very adorable. I love the head off to the side!  Haha, relate to the mama bear comments too. That is what my husband calls me as well.blessings, Jenny

  8. pettybunch says:

    @ABAHM – Painting is a great idea.  I’m not much of an artist – my art is usually in the form of singing or sewing – but I used to like to paint some.  My Dad in law told me their doctor said coloring with crayons/markers is good for AZ patients – my mom in law has dementia of some sort although they’ve never said AZ.  She loves to “color” – not like a baby would, but as an expression of her artsy side.  I think if I did some thing like that, my mom might be interested.  She used to love to paint, albeit by number.  We might give it a try.  I did try jigsaw puzzles, but that was too much for her.I always appreciate your comments and posts.  Thanks for taking the time to come by.  I know how very busy you are!

  9. Bettyeboop says:

    I enjoy both Xanga and FB.  I love exchanging brief comments with my friends and family on FB.  And we have a lively debate ever once in a while that I enjoy a lot.  I couldn’t believe the number of comments we ended up with in reply to my shock and disappointment over the winner of “America’s Got Talent”.  ha  I really enjoyed that because there were so many different opinions and reasons for their opinions.  I guess it is the conversation I don’t normally get in real life so I enjoy it there.  ha  I am so happy to have hooked up with old school friends and it is great having a path of communication with Ryan.  What a neat kid he is and just as open and sharing as you could imagine.  He quotes lyrics from love songs!  He seems to have a wonderful base of friends and I love chatting with him.  I come to Xanga just hoping you or Bill have posted something.  I wish Amy posted more often.  I love to read her, too.  And now Bill’s postings are shared in FB so I can know now right away when he has posted something new on Xanga and come see it.It doesn’t take up much time because like I said I don’t have anyone to read on Xanga except you all so I am able to spend any extra time on FB.  Keep up the writing and know that I love you.    B

  10. Bettyeboop says:

    By the way, I did some art posters a couple of years ago that I enjoyed so much.  Mine were of fairies but you could probably find other themes.  They were pen and ink drawings and you colored them in with colored pencils and a wax pencil.  I loved it.  You use quality colored pencils and you can buy the wax pencil at Hobby Lobby in art section.  You color a section or a leaf or flower or whatever and then you go over it with the wax pencil and it smooths out the color and puts a “finish” on it.  I loved working on them.  I did three large posters and to work on them I gently taped the edges to extra stiff cardboard since as you know I have to do everything in my lap in my recliner.  Anyway, they take a while and I absolutely loved doing them. 

  11. pettybunch says:

    @Bettyeboop – Oh, we like that idea, too!  (Gen was reading with me.)  Mama may be able to handle a pencil better than a paintbrush.  I’ll look into that.  Thanks for the idea.

  12. I really LOVE your page; it’s SO pretty! I had no idea you were dealing with such a full plate. Wow! I pray that “mercy unto you, and peace, and love, be multiplied.” (Jude 2)You write very well, and you mentioned that your own problems fade in the light of what others are dealing with. So, I wanted to suggest that you take your Bible and some note cards with you to your parents’ house, and spend time writing words of encouragement to whomever God lays on your heart. I know that we rely heavily on internet communication, but I still love to receive snail mail!Anyway, I believe the Lord will use you to bless others. => 

  13. pettybunch says:

    @jubileejackie – What a great idea, Jackie!  I love the idea of sending note card – I, too, love to get snail mail.Just to clarify, Bill and I live with my Dad and Mom.  We just sleep in a connecting trailer that was used as a guest room in the past.Thanks for visiting.  I loved hearing from you!

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