“My Grace is Sufficient…”


I have been wanting to write, but have really been hesitant lately.  I’ve been feeling pretty emotional, watching Mama lose ground pretty quickly, Bill staying back at our house while Dan is in Florida, and just being plain ol’ tired!

I don’t want to begin complaining.  Complaining so often leads to discontentment, and I struggle with that enough already!  I really just want to write it all out, kind of journal-like.  Do you mind?  If you don’t want to read on, I understand!

Mama went for several days without sleeping more than a few minutes at a time. It was so odd – she would be so tired, so ready to go to bed.  The first night she called for me or Daddy most of the night.  The other nights she just kept getting up and down, not leaving her bedroom, but not staying in bed.  I wasn’t able to sleep those nights either though, because I kept expecting her to call me!  She is sleeping better now, but I don’t think I’ve caught up yet. 

Mama is getting weaker both physically and mentally.  It’s really been sad, but also makes the caregiving almost nonstop.  I have had people tell me that as long as Mama can “toilet” herself we were doing okay.  Well, now I surely believe that!  Mama is losing that ability and it is so difficult!  I won’t go into details, but it is not pleasant for any of us!  Mama is also no longer being able to get up out of a sitting position without help, which can be physically challenging for me.  It is almost impossible to leave the room she is in, whether she is in the bathroom or just in her chair, because she often becomes frightened or disoriented.  She wants to “go home” more and more often, and is not always easily comforted.

Jeanne and I are both taxed more than ever.  One of the things that really frustrates Jeanne is that because of Mama’s growing needs, Jeanne isn’t able to take care of the house as thoroughly as she likes.  Jeanne is by nature a very organized, orderly person.  We recently had an influx of bugs and rodents (our sweet tom cat died last month!) into the house and had to have a professional exterminator come in, which meant emptying all of the kitchen cabinets and pantries.  After the house was sprayed, Jeanne began cleaning and organizing EVERYTHING before putting it back.  That is her gift – her joy, even!  Mama really struggles during those busy times.  She seems to enjoy the new activities somewhat, but gets lost and disoriented so easily when there is alot going on around her.  It is also very difficult for us to get things back in order when it’s continually start – stop; start – stop… 

Jeanne has been trying to come up with a plan to ease our task some, but there simply isn’t a perfect plan for the full care of a loved one!  We’ve discussed taking turns – week on/week off for each of us – but if I keep my job, she would get the raw end of that deal since she would still have to come over daily on her week “off”.  That’s no good!  We’ve also talked about when/if the day comes that we are not capable of caring for Mama (or Daddy, but he is doing fairly well right now).  We are trying to research places, finances, in-home aid, all those things.  There is a lot of information out there, but every circumstance is different, so there is much weeding through necessary to find what is right for each situation.  And time for that, much less brain power to grasp it all, is seriously lacking around here!

As I get ready to close the computer and go to sleep, I know I mustn’t go  without saying that all of these trials have come to us having been sifted through the loving hands of our Heavenly Father, and I can without hesitation declare that His grace is not only sufficient, but abundant for us in the midst of it.  There are times that I want to have a little pity party, or days of pure exhaustion, but without fail the Lord sends along a booster shot of grace at just the right time.  Sometimes it’s a little nap (I got about 20 minutes today!); another time a word of encouragement from a friend (beautiful testimony from a breast cancer survivor and her husband today at church); the next time a date with my sweet hubby (Monday we got to spend the entire day together!); and always His still, small voice whispering comforting words in the midst of the storm!  All I have to do is keep my eyes and ears on Him.  He is always there; He will never leave me nor forsake me; nothing can separate me from His love!!

 Florida Trip, Pam and Will's House 003.jpg   

I am closing the computer, then closing my eyes.  I am a bit refreshed just by writing tonight.   Thank you for lending me your ear for just a few moments!

God bless your day!

 

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About pettybunch

I am loved with God's everlasting love, and underneath are His everlasting arms - and I haven't gotten over it yet! I am also blessed to be married for over 36 years to the man of my dreams, and have 3 incredible adult children, an amazing son-in-law, a wonderful daughter-in-law, and SEVEN grandchildren: four precious granddaughters, three handsome grandsons - so far. I am a retired Home Educator, and loved every moment of it! We are empty nesters, and are endeavoring to embrace this new phase of life. God is so good!
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11 Responses to “My Grace is Sufficient…”

  1. ABAHM says:

    Oh sweet friend my eyes are full of tears and I feel so for you.  I do ask the Lord to come along side of you all during this time and give you wisdom, strength,and grace.  I know His arms are around you.  on the practical side, we did find the adult “pullups”  very very helpful.  Grandpa still needed assistance in the bathroom, but it helped everywhere else in the house and in bed.  He did keep wondering what they were…and would try to wash them out, but they did help once he started having accidents. Praying for you and for your rest tonight.  HUGS and LOVE, Jenny

  2. Abbiegirl says:

    Mrs. Petty, I’m so sorry life is so overwhelming for you, I pray it gets easier, Nothing is IMPOSSIBLE with God. Have a Wonderful day with Mr. Petty today, you deserve it! 

  3. I will be praying for you!  You know, of course, that I didn’t do the physical care of my parents – I could not have managed it physically, mentally, or emotionally, and for us, the best decision was first assisted living, but then when they each were not able to take care of themselves at all, a nursing home.  Not everyone agrees with that decision, but I knew that they were getting the best care possible.  You have chosen to care for them yourself, and I am in awe of that!  And we couldn’t have afforded any in-home help, as that is not covered by anything, was very expensive, and they didn’t have long-term health care insurance.   I have several local friends who are also caring for their parents themselves.  God will bless you for it!  This is the most difficult time of a woman’s life, having to care for elderly parents, in whatever way that ends up!   All that is to say that if you should decide that you cannot care for them yourself anymore and want to look for other options, I will be happy to share with you our journey of finding out what was best.

  4. pettybunch says:

    @piecedtreasures – I think of you each time I get on the internet to look up our options and feel so overwhelmed by what I find!  I remember all you went through and did to get the best care for your Mom.  When I was young, I promised my Mama that I would “never put you in a nursing home!”   Now that I’m 50, and feel my own limitations creeping in, I am eating ALOT of crow!  Oh, how we boast when we are young and invincible!!  I really do love caring for Mama, as hard as it is, but it is incredibly taxing on my emotions, mind, and body!  And I have my wonderful sister to share this with!  I can’t imagine what it would be like without her!  I may indeed call on you as I wade through all this information – thank you for offering your experience!@ABAHM – Thank you for your prayers – I always know you are praying in understanding where we are!  We have begun using the “pullups” with Mama.  She hates them, but is beginning to accept it.  It has saved unbelievably on the laundry!@Abbiegirl – Thank you, Abbie. You are always so faithful to pray for others’ needs.  Hope your day is wonderful!

  5. Bettyeboop says:

    My dear sister, I just read this on Monday night as I was about to go to bed.  I can’t tell you how this makes me feel.  Everything seems to be falling right now.  I know everything will happen according to God’s will but times like these are so hard.  Things will be better in the morning.  Tonight I am just tired, sad and afraid.  I feel so bad for what you and Jeanne have to endure, and I do know you do it happily for your mama but how I wish your burdens could be lightened.  Right now I just wish I would hear from Mikey and he would say everything was going to be alright with Morgan.  But I have not heard from him this evening.  I don’t know if there was nothing new to tell or if he is just late getting home.  But I will let you know what I hear from him in the morning.  Please keep remembering them in your prayers.  People are so wonderful.  So many people are praying.  I just pray its enough.  I love you, Sis.

  6. MissyAllen says:

    It is a hard time… I am always there to notice how her physical and mental ability is decreasing..(only… Tuesday, Thursday, and friday.) when I sleep on the couch on thursday nights she always wakes me up in the middle of the night to know if I’m asleep. Sometimes I am grateful that I am not spending the night… (Even though thats not very nice) When I really should be there to spend more time with my Mamaw. My friend Mallory Osborne.. .I’ve told her about the issues and she said she would pray… every night.. Best of wishes… and Prayers… Missy.

  7. pettybunch says:

    @MissyAllen – Thank you, precious.  I know how hard it is to spend the night – I’m up alot with her, too!!!!  At least you get to be there often, and she knows & loves you so much!

  8. MegletTX says:

    Dear sweet Mrs. Petty, I can so identify with your struggles right now!!  My poor Mamma has been taking care of my Granny for several years now.  I would highly encourage you to find a caregiver support group in your area as they can help you find affordable or possibly free solutions to help you.  My Mamma (RoseAnn Gregg) can probably point you in the right direction for some of that and I know she would love to share what information she has!  Praying for you!  This ministry is NOT an easy one even for your own family.

  9. pettybunch says:

    @MegletTX – Thank you so much – I will very likely be seeking advice!  I appreciate y’all more than you know.

  10. AuntGen says:

    @MissyAllen – Baby, Nonnie and I understand that it is hard for you to spend the night with Mamaw up and down all night long.  You are VERY nice, and show Mamaw so much love when you are there with her!  We notice how comfortable you are with her, even when she is acting a little odd.  Some kids might avoid their grandparents when they are like this, but you embrace yours and love them as they are. @pettybunch –  I have a lot to say on the subject, but so much has happened today, we will have to talk in person.  We have to find a way for you to have some respite, on a regular basis! Love you… 

  11. Much love and prayers!!!

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