Stuff and Things


Lots of things going on this week/weekend. 

After a lot of discussion and very little excitment, we three kids have decided to have Mama evaluated to see what our best options are for her care.  I HATE THIS, justsoyaknow! 

She is really becoming difficult to handle as far as her physical needs, and mentally she is really losing ground rapidly.  She has come to the point of hardly being able to walk, and Jeanne and I have to literally pull/pick her up to a standing position just so she can try to walk to the bathroom.  We were thinking most of her digression would revert back to her previous state when we took her off the newly prescribed pain patch, but although she now doesn’t sleep all the time, that is all the improvement we’ve seen.  She is still very weak, and simply doesn’t know what she is doing most of the time.  She also will hardly eat anything – AT ALL!  The first night she was awake enough to eat, I was able to get her to drink an “Ensure” shake.  That was just about the last think she’s really taken much of, though, and that was Tuesday. 

Mama
It is amazing to me how much Mama’s health has failed just since this pic was taken last December!

We kids are really concerned, and Daddy can’t stop worrying about her.  He actually makes some things more difficult, not meaning to, by trying to make her eat or other ways he thinks he is encouraging her.  Most of the time it just agitates or confuses her. 

We have been looking online and asking friends who have been down this road before, and now the need to stop gathering information and begin making contacts has come.  Again, I HATE THIS!  I know it will be a battle, with both Mama and Daddy.  I do think Daddy is beginning to see the great needs in Mama, but I also believe he feels that we kids should take care of those needs.  I truly know how he feels, because I feel that way, too.  However, I am now seeing how many limitations Jeanne and I have, plus how all encompassing Mama’s care has become.  I’m not certain we are what’s best for her anymore.  Anyway, I think we have a beginning plan; I’m just trying to find the time to put it in motion!

The next big event happening this week is that my Tater is coming home for the weekend!!  Actually, Bill has already picked her up from the airport, and after several stops on the way home, I will see her sometime before the night’s over!  I can’t wait! 

The big event she is coming home for isn’t to see us, although that is a fringe benefit for me!  Pamela is coming home because she and Dannye Reigh are bridesmaid/matron in Dannye’s best friend Melody’s wedding. 

best friends
The Four Musketeers – Mel, Dan, Pam, and Kate – last year at Pamela’s wedding

We are so excited for Mel and her guy, Conrad.  I am also excited because I get to go to the wedding!  Jeanne is coming to stay with the folks all day Saturday so I can spend time with Mel’s mom, my dear, dear friend Terri.  I can’t wait!  I went by the venue today, and it is truly gorgeous.  It will be a precious, wonderful wedding. 

Mel and Conrad
Beautiful couple, Melody and Conrad

Mels bridesmaids
The Bridesmaids (and matron – Pamela is the only married bridal attendant)

I think I will get off now.  It is almost time to help Mama to bed, and then I am going to go to my room with Missy (she’s spending the night with me – yay!) and watch a movie or something.  I want to stay awake until Pam gets here, so it’s gonna need to be something peppy!

God bless your day!

 

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About pettybunch

I am loved with God's everlasting love, and underneath are His everlasting arms - and I haven't gotten over it yet! I am also blessed to be married for over 36 years to the man of my dreams, and have 3 incredible adult children, an amazing son-in-law, a wonderful daughter-in-law, and SEVEN grandchildren: four precious granddaughters, three handsome grandsons - so far. I am a retired Home Educator, and loved every moment of it! We are empty nesters, and are endeavoring to embrace this new phase of life. God is so good!
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4 Responses to Stuff and Things

  1. We SO wish we could be there with y’all this weekend. My heart is aching to be able to help you, SOMEhow, with everything you’re facing right now! Know that we love you, my Mama-friend.

  2. AuntGen says:

    I just want to tell you that Mama ate her oatmeal and toast/bacon this morning as she did yesterday morning, but again refused lunch or snack.  She wanted to go home, and was agitated at Dad for telling her “We’re alright, Mom.” over and over again.  But I attribute her “homesickness” to the fact that I have been reading the news to Daddy off and on today and it’s a little disconcerting/alarming to her.  I didn’t realize it until she started complaining about wanting to leave.  She has slept through our news reports on previous days, but today she has been more alert and aware of the bad news. : )  I asked her if she wanted me to read something happier and she said “yes”, but fell asleep while I was looking for some “happy news”.    I am more than a little hesitant to give over the care of our Mama to someone else, especially if she has to leave home.  I do believe over all that it will be best for all concerned because we just can’t keep up the pace with her escalating needs, but I don’t know how to let go.  I am so afraid she will miss our constant “companionship” and be afraid or lonely.  I am also afraid she will have to give up her “trips” to the bathroom and have to stay in bed most of the day, wearing diapers.  I’m afraid we will lose more of her faster if she is away from our constant care, and mostly I think, I am afraid she will forget us.  I know if the Lord leaves her with us, that day is coming anyway, but I feel like if we are doing everything we can for her and she forgets us, it won’t hurt as much.  If we let someone else take over her care and she forgets us, how will that feel?  And like you, I dread dealing with Daddy’s expectations/disappointment.  Sorry for being a downer.  Let’s be faithful to pray for Dad during this transition.  God graciously answered our prayers and gave Daddy an extra measure of compassion for Mama when we specifically asked Him to, and I know He will help him through these changes as well.  I do believe we’re doing the only thing we can do and even look forward to the freedom it may afford us both.  I pray that our Wonderful Councilor will liberally give us wisdom and guide each step we take in this “journey”.  I love you and am so thankful that we have each other to share this burden.   Jeanne

  3. Mottsngbury says:

    You both know that I know your pain, guilt & worry about having someone else take over the care of your mama. After Til & I put Mom in the nursing home, I cried continuously. I was making myself sick til I went to a doctor.  Just by talking, she made me feel so much better & assured me I had done the best thing for Mom – safety wise. It hurts US but if it’s the best care (as it was for Mom) you have to do it for her.  And yes, the transition to diapers was so hard for Mom even w/her Alz. She fought them like crazy in the beginning. They’re so private in that area. I’m sure you will get the best advice as to what to do & all I can do is commiserate w/you both. Also, Daddy may be just a little leery of it thinking that may be in his future as well.  If you have to do it (nursing home) you can both drop by as often as possible. I would give anything to be able to do that w/Mom!!  I love you both, my sweet sisters……..God bless you both!

  4. AuntGen says:

    @Mottsngbury -Thank you for all your encouragement and advice… it helps more than we can say.  We love you and are so blessed to have you as our sister. 

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