Apparently I need a great deal of character building! This actually comes as no great surprise to me – at least when I look honestly into this heart of mine. But there are times – most of the time, really – when I AM surprised that my precious Potter-Father suddenly begins to spend what seems to be an inordinate amount of time molding my character!
I’ve been physically tired lately. Mama doesn’t sleep very well, therefore I don’t sleep very well. Molly also doesn’t seem to be able to make it through the night without a potty break. Bill is about ready to ring her neck, but he knows that might just push me over the edge!
Anyway, back to my whining. I began realizing today, when I got some not-so-encouraging news from Mama’s insurance advisor, that I had really begun to harden my heart toward my situation. I realized I am hoping for some kind of magical answer to my life circumstance. As I realized my attitudinal problem, I began singing a prayer to the Lord –
“Make me a servant
humble and meek
Lord help me lift up
those who are weak [my parents?????]
And may the prayer of my heart always be
Make me a servant,
Make me a servant,
Make me a servant today!”
I was really feeling the Lord’s peace slowly filling my heart, more and more as I got closer to home after work. Bill was heading off to help his cousin work on his tractor at their sheep ranch. I thought he could probably use a bit of time loose from the responsibilities of this household, so I encouraged him to take his “ditty bag” and stay overnight. I was feeling so gracious!!
Jeanne and I talked about some of the issues around here we rarely have opportunity to discuss, and it was really good. Dannye had been with Mama this morning while I was at work and Jeanne took Daddy to the doctor, and she stayed for supper – another blessing to my day.
The Astros were playing the Braves, and for awhile it was touch and go, but we were at least holding our own.
So far, so good…
Then, right about the fourth inning, Daddy noticed the air conditioner didn’t seem to be blowing cool air. Dannye and I did some checking, and sure enough, the outside unit fan wasn’t working. No a/c. In August. In southeast Texas.
It was right about 95 degrees outside at the time – cooling down for the evening. I’m talking, the sun was down and it was still 95 degrees!
Now, folks, I am rarely too warm. I like just enough air conditioning to give me air to breath. Bill used to tell people that I have to lay out on a rock in the sun to get warm! My Mama is even more so cold-blooded. But it was HOT in this house this evening! Dan put the fan on Mama, I turned the a/c off, but kept the unit on “fan only” so the air would circulate. And the Astros began scoring runs like they were trying to make up for this entire miserable season, so I was plenty distracted.
But Mama – poor, miserable Mama. I told Jeanne, you’d have thought we’d all been cast into the fiery furnace – seven times hotter! She whined, she cried, she stomped, she demanded. I kept telling her it was not THAT hot, and if she’d stop fretting, she would cool off some.
I had already called Bill to find out what to do, and he was on his way home. I felt so bad, but really didn’t know what else to do. I tried the air again, just to make Mama think I was trying to do SOMETHING, and it began working – for a few minutes. While it was working, I got Mama in bed – hoping she won’t notice the heat rising.
I’m sitting here now, almost midnight, waiting for my very tired husband to check a window unit he has out back so he can put it in if it works. At least it will help a little in the night. I love and admire my husband more than any human being on this earth! He is incredible!
I almost had to laugh as the “make me a servant” song, still stuck in my head, began it’s rounds again. The Lord knows my self-centered heart, even if I don’t – or won’t admit what I do know. But I’ve been forced to examine the ugliness and admit it – right here on Xanga.
And so the Potter continues to work. And I’m so grateful that He does, even though it sometimes hurts.
And I hate to sweat.
But I really, really, really want to be like Jesus.
God bless your day!