It is well, it is well with my soul!
As we prepare Mama for the night, we sing this hymn (among others) to her. We feel it reminds us all of the peace that passes all understanding in the preparation of Mama’s home-going.
During this time, I have thought that “my lot” that I needed to accept as “well with my soul” is the death of my precious Mama. Daily we have seen a rapid decline in Mama’s health, so daily we prepare our hearts that this is our last day with her on this earth. Each morning Mama is still with us we begin the letting-go process all over again.
The emotional roller coaster has been so difficult, yet today I realized that the peace we have been singing to Mama needs to be in my own heart for the waiting, as well as for the ending. When the thought came into my heart and I accepted we may be in this waiting pattern awhile longer, I felt such peace flood my soul! Here I was preparing for Mama’s death, getting ready to lose her, and not embracing the time we have left together.
We actually don’t know how aware Mama is of her surroundings. She seems to respond, although rarely, to talking and singing, mostly by facial changes. Today she actually uttered, “uh huh” and “uhn uh” to Jeanne’s questions, but has not really responded since. She seems more peaceful now, though, which is a blessing.
We have had more excitement around here. Daddy’s anxiety attacks have actually turned out to be a relapse of pneumonia. He is very ill, but we were able to keep him out of the hospital by promising the doctor that if he gets ANY WORSE, we will take him to the ER. He got a shot and oral antibiotics, plus his inhalers, and we are really trying to get him well without the hospital!
Bill also went to the doctor today. His elbow was really swollen and severely painful, so I encouraged him (actually, I didn’t give him a choice) to go to the doctor with me when I took Daddy. The diagnosis is bursitis, and he got 2 shots and 2 prescriptions! I said we are starting an infirmary her at the house!
I don’t know if I’ve said this already, but Nathanael and Emily arrived (with the babies in tow!) this evening. What a blessing it is to have all three of my kids together – for the first time in a year and a half!! It was difficult for Nathanael to go see his Mamaw, but he did, and I believe she was blessed. I know I was. Daddy is so glad Bo is here, and I am hoping he feels better quickly so he can fully enjoy the visit.
I’d better go to bed now. Thank you again for all your prayers. The Lord is holding us up during these difficult days. Please continue to pray for Daddy, that he will gain strength and be healed.
God bless your day!