Day 3 and counting. Daddy received 2 units of blood Thursday evening/night, and even before the first unit was complete he felt like a new man! He seemed much like he did several months ago, before he got ill this past fall. He is continuing to do well, although there are little glitches every now and then. They are having a hard time getting his blood sugar under control, but he still feels pretty good. He sat up in the chair all day today. We also went on a walk yesterday and today. A very short walk, but a walk nonetheless! He is more and more ready to go home, but we are both trying to be patient and, as he puts it, “do it right!”
One of the glitches Dad has had was on Friday. He felt wonderful in the morning, but after a walk and a shower mid-day, he SLEPT the rest of the day! He slept on into the night. He slept through bloodwork, insulin shots, taking vital signs. He slept until about 3:00 this morning! It was weird, too. In his sleep, his hands would move as though they were working. His face would move as though he were talking. He told me a couple of times he was having vivid, bad dreams. These symptoms (symptoms of what, I don’t know) have lessened more and more as the day has gone on so that now about all that is obvious is the deep sleeping. He dozed in the chair some today, but stayed awake most of the day. He is in bed now, sound asleep. His hands are still, though. I’m hoping that whatever is going on is now going away!
These days in the hospital have been pretty quiet for Dad and I. We got here on Wednesday evening, and were pretty much alone all day Thursday. Bill and my nephew Mark popped in Thursday afternoon, which so lifted Daddy’s spirits. Friday morning, Dave brought Jeanne up, and she stayed with us all day. That was really great! Jeanne and I rarely have time to talk – you know, really talk! But with Daddy sleeping all afternoon we were free to talk without disturbing him, or having to repeat things over and over because of his hearing. It was so nice.
A sweet byproduct of our time here at the hospital is the nighttime talks Daddy and I have. Although he openly and willingly shows his love and care for others, my Daddy is not open with his own inner feelings. Jeanne and I try to open avenues of conversation about Mama’s death, hoping Daddy will talk about his grief, but his words are few and far between. Being here alone together seems to give more opportunity for Dad to share things with me. Perhaps it’s the quiet darkness with my bed very near his; or perhaps he’s simply ready to share these thoughts and I just happen to be here. Whatever it is, I am profoundly blessed by being here.
Daddy does miss Mama so much. Like the rest of us, he mostly thinks of her as she was before her mind and body were so limited. He is at peace that she is in heaven, whole and complete. He likes to remember the fun things they did together, like all their travels through the years. He can’t seem to express the grief, other than to say it is there.
Daddy has even shared with me some fears and concerns he has about the future. I am grateful and sad at the same time. Grateful that he would share his private thoughts with me. Sad that my HERO Daddy has such fears. There is so much of me that is still Daddy’s Little Girl! So much of me that never wants to be anything else! And I know that Daddy doesn’t want that to change, either, and hates that he has to depend on me and Jeanne the way he does. Although I think he feels somewhat safe with us versus having to depend on someone outside of the family, and that is just sweet.
Tomorrow, Bill and Dan are going to pick Jeanne up and, as Dad put it, he’s going to trade girls. She is going to stay with Daddy so I can go to church. I am so excited to worship with my church family! Then, I am hoping I will spend one more night at the hospital and take Daddy home on Monday! What a wonderful day!
Thank you all for your continued prayers. The Lord is showing Himself strong on our behalf!
I think I’d better get off here. I’m getting sleepy and need to get rest while I can. The nurses and techs will be back before we know it!
God bless your day!