Ever since I’ve known Bill Petty, one of his favorite lines has been, “I’m __ years old, and I still don’t know what I want to do when I grow up.” I think it could be difficult to follow someone like that, but for me it’s not been. At least not as a whole. There have been days when I wished he would just make up his mind and do something for a pair of minutes! For the most part, however, it has been a great adventure. Bill can do so many things well, and he’s interested in everything – so he tries them all!!
While Bill has been wondering what he wants to do, I have ALWAYS known what I wanted to do! I wanted to be a wife and mother. That’s it. I’ve never desired anything else. Which brings me to my current status in life – being 54.
At age 54, I am suddenly confronted with questions that have NEVER before plagued me: Who, exactly, am I now? And what on earth am I supposed to be doing with the rest of my life?
I am definitely still a wife and a mother, but things are so much different in both of those areas – I now feel fairly insignificant! What was once an all-consuming aspect of my life no longer takes up near the time it used to!
So here I am, 54 years old, wondering what I want to do when I grow up, although I have the feeling that my problem isn’t so much what to DO. I DO plenty: I am the Marketing/Social Media/Contact Person/Office Manager/Photography Assistant for our business, Petty Family Photography; I do a similar job for my sister’s home bakery, Plain & Simple Bakery and Jammery; I keep my grandkids 2 nights a week; and I have my home responsibilities to take care of, as well. No, I have plenty to DO.
Perhaps it’s more an issue of BEING. I often feel quite lost. Sort of like Kathleen Kelly in “You’ve Got Mail” – “Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life – well, valuable, but small – and sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven’t been brave? And like Kathleen Kelly, “I don’t really want an answer. I just want to send this cosmic question out into the void.”
Only, that’s not quite true, either. What I want is an answer from my Heavenly Father – I want HIM to show me the plan He has for me at this stage of my life. And I know Him – He is showing me every day, bit by bit. I just need to open the eyes of my heart!! And have a little bit of patience! 😉
“ For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.” Jeremiah 29:11
God bless your day!