Being 54

Me and Levi

Ever since I’ve known Bill Petty, one of his favorite lines has been, “I’m __ years old, and I still don’t know what I want to do when I grow up.” I think it could be difficult to follow someone like that, but for me it’s not been. At least not as a whole. There have been days when I wished he would just make up his mind and do something for a pair of minutes!  For the most part, however, it has been a great adventure. Bill can do so many things well, and he’s interested in everything – so he tries them all!!

While Bill has been wondering what he wants to do, I have ALWAYS known what I wanted to do! I wanted to be a wife and mother. That’s it. I’ve never desired anything else. Which brings me to my current status in life – being 54.

At age 54, I am suddenly confronted with questions that have NEVER before plagued me:  Who, exactly, am I now? And what on earth am I supposed to be doing with the rest of my life?

I am definitely still a wife and a mother, but things are so much different in both of those areas – I now feel fairly insignificant! What was once an all-consuming aspect of my life no longer takes up near the time it used to!

So here I am, 54 years old, wondering what I want to do when I grow up, although I have the feeling that my problem isn’t so much what to DO. I DO plenty:  I am the Marketing/Social Media/Contact Person/Office Manager/Photography Assistant for our business, Petty Family Photography; I do a similar job for my sister’s home bakery, Plain & Simple Bakery and Jammery; I keep my grandkids 2 nights a week;  and I have my home responsibilities to take care of, as well. No, I have plenty to DO.

Perhaps it’s more an issue of BEING. I often feel quite lost. Sort of like Kathleen Kelly in “You’ve Got Mail” – “Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life – well, valuable, but small – and sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven’t been brave? And like Kathleen Kelly,  “I don’t really want an answer. I just want to send this cosmic question out into the void.”

Only, that’s not quite true, either.  What I want is an answer from my Heavenly Father – I want HIM to show me the plan He has for me at this stage of my life. And I know Him – He is showing me every day, bit by bit. I just need to open the eyes of my heart!! And have a little bit of patience! 😉

 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.Jeremiah 29:11

God bless your day!


About Petty Bunch

The Petty Bunch is what we have called our family since Bill and I (Janina) began our family back in the early 1980s. We have gone down many roads together - homeschooling our kiddoes, enjoying the freedom of entrepreneurship many years, working at "real jobs" other years. Through it all, we have been loved with God's everlasting love, and have found that underneath are His everlasting arms! We are blessed to have been married for over 36 years, and have 3 incredible adult children, a wonderful daughter-in-law, an amazing son-in-law, and SEVEN grandchildren: four precious granddaughters, three handsome grandsons - so far. We are empty nesters, still enjoy the life of an entrepreneur and the freedom it gives us to continue enjoying our kids and now, their kids!
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2 Responses to Being 54

  1. Cathy Marx says:

    At the ripe age of 57, I often ask myself “who am I”? Just like you, I waffled with this question many times. I have decided that I am changing everyday. I am no longer chief cook and bottle washer, laundry slave, lawn jockey, and, and ,and I enjoy being, just being in the moment. Enjoying every moment, every day. Life is too short to waste time wondering “who am I”. I am who I am, and God created me in his perfect image. I am at peace, because God is in control, not me. What a relief!

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